so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
bring money and cleavage
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
