im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
