If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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