He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
