No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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