So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
