When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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