i just wanna soil my oats bro
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
How's work?
Spinning.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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