We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize