unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
