my soul wont recognize me after tonight
just tell him i said nine months
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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