Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize