he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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