Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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