how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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