I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
