Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
