I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Randomize
