Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
