I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
