The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize