I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
