I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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