Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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