I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
we made out on top of his cat.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize