I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
