My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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