So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
