Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize