His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
