and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
