yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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