i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
whose parrot is this?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
