Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
