just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
