Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
