For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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