too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Shitshow foam night was such a success
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize