i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
