you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
