I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
