Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
