We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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