So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
