I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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