Plan B is the new Plan A
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
