She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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