So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
worst night to have a conscience
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
