She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
