Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
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