Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
