So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
