now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize