You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
