New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
