Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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