You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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