Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
this hospital has no fireball
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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