I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
