After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
