tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
