I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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