i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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