Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
