It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm experimenting with sincerity
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize