You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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